Yes! Improving our daily parenting practices has an impact on our young children’s emotions and behaviors, especially when we tailor them to the individual emotional needs of each unique child. While serious behavioral/emotional challenges are best addressed with the help of a psychotherapist (see closing paragraph below), below are 3 tips to boost the mental health benefits of your daily family interactions.
First, a note on my approach… My intention here is to increase parents’ awareness of how we can support our children’s emotional needs before they become challenging, by maximizing the benefits for parent-child interactions. Underlying most negative behaviors there is an emotional need that has not been met yet, which can happen when we transition naturally to new stages of development, when we experience a significant loss or a period of major stress. In other words, what we see as negative behaviors are unhealthy attempts to cope with change. According to the resilience framework, building the necessary emotional strengths replaces the challenging behaviors. Now, the tips:
1. Creative Play
Child-led imaginative play and art making are the natural vehicles for young children to express and work through their feelings about difficult experiences, strengthen the caregiver-child bond, and develop social-emotional skills. How we as caregivers engage in play/art with our children can maximize this inherently powerful process. Letting a child lead the play with a caregiver means that the child can choose the toys, games or art materials, as well as the story line of the play or themes of the art creations. The role of the caregiver is to offer choices, ensure safety and create an environment of acceptance and empathy.
For examples of play/art/music that build resilience, please see:
- My list for children ages 6-10 CLICK HERE
- My list for infants, toddlers and preschoolers CLICK HERE
- My article on the “dos and don’ts” of creative play to support children’s mental health CLICK HERE
2. Playful Relaxation and Movement
During stressful times, our bodies naturally produce stress hormones (e.g. cortisol) that prepare us to be on alert. Yet when chronic stress accumulates in the nervous system these hormones can cause anxiety, irritability, concentration difficulties, and physical discomfort. Thankfully, we can intentionally produce “happy and calm hormones” (e.g. endorphins) by doing activities that involve relaxion, movement and personal connection. We parents benefit from a daily dose of relaxation too, and the gratification is greater when we add the ingredient of love! Please find my videos demonstrating how to teach young children to relax and calm down in playful, creative ways, under my Parent Resources Page.
3. Screen and Reading Time
Yes, screen time and reading time can improve young children’s emotions and behavior, as long as the content is emotionally enriching, and we use it as a tool to spark parent-child conversations and opportunities for emotional coaching. We need to make the most of children’s affinity for books and screens, and the wealth of information that already exists in children’s media! I share here practical lists and tips:
- My list of recommended social – emotional books for ages 1-5 and for ages 5-11.
- My list of shows/films that can help children to become more aware of feelings (aka emotional literacy), and to learn from role models of self-acceptance, courage, empathy, cooperation, diversity and conflict resolution.
- My sheet on balancing screen time for mental health.
These tips may be beneficial, though not sufficient, if a child’s emotional challenges have escalated over months/years and have a significant impact on family, social or academic functioning. When we do not see improvements in spite of consistent support by the parents, child and family psychotherapy or parent coaching are ideal supports to obtain.